Let me start this off by saying, My name is Karen Yvonne and I have been a “little bitch” about criticism.

Whenever anyone offers me criticism (especially unsolicited advice), I needed to hear it in a certain fashion.

Step 1: Praise Me Hard Core

Step 2: Praise Me Even Harder.

Step 3: Gently offer advice or criticisms

Step 4: Minimize that criticism with “but’s” and”still’s” and”not really’s”

Step 5: Praise Me Like I am the Goddess Of the Universe.

 

Here is an example:

Hey Karen, I watched your AWESOME video about perfectionism! I loved it! You looked sooo pretty and the message was soooo inspiring. It was perfect, but if I had to be a bitchy nag, I would suggest you adjust your audio. But that wasn’t even a big deal. Your videos are the best. I pray to you every night and I cant wait to see your next video. 😀

 

As you would expect, no one ever follows this format… sigh. So, I end up getting hurt by these tactless assholes. sigh.  It’s hard to take the feedback after this, because I am just hurt. I struggle to hear the message because I am focused on the delivery.

 

I suffer from this conundrum of wanting feedback and hating feedback. And it all boils down to this: I want your feedback to be that I am Perfect. A Goddess. I’m Awesome.

When they fail to do this, I blame them. “How stupid are you if you cant see this hotness right here”. In essence, I cant handle the truth.

The fact that I am always trying to improve, should tell me that I am not perfect.I know I am not perfect. And yet, I really struggle hearing it from other people.

THIS FUCKING SUCKS.

I have been working on this fatal flaw and I am beggining to see just how beautiful and helpful criticism can be. Having the ability take criticism doesn’t just spare your feelings, it improves your life. So I thought I would reach out to all of my sensitive friends and tell you why criticism is one of the best tools out there.

 

1. You will know the truth

We always want to know how people truly see us. We are self conscious and paranoid. However, many of our friends will sugar coat things or flat out lie to spare your feelings. As a result, we look like fools and we don’t even know it.

Criticism, however, is a window into the truth. We get to truly see the way that others see us. Granted, everyone may not agree on the criticism, but you get a good idea about how some people might feel. Once you know the truth, you can do something about it. You can get better or choose to continue our own way. The benefit is that we don’t have to make our decisions blindly.

2. If they are hating.. you still win!

Some people use criticism as  a way to cover their “hateration”. They want to piss you off passively. So getting defensive is only giving them the reaction they want. Instead, say “Thanks I will take that under consideration” and move on.

They will be pissed that they couldn’t get to you and they gave you feedback that might actually make you better.  Stupid haters.

 

3.  You leave happy

Many times after I hear criticism, I think about it all day!!! I stew. I think of all the comebacks. I find ways to discredit that person. ” Who the hell are you to criticize about my videos when you don’t ever put yourself out there at all”. So, I just end up miserable.  But when I don’t take the message personally and look for gems I can use, I feel so much happier. Its just so much easier to move on.

 

4. You’ll be a better friend and make more friends.

Being able to take criticism from friends and will make you a lot more approachable. They don’t have to lie to you. They don’t have to walk on egg shells around you. They are free to be themselves and express what they feel. As a result, they will love and  respect you more for it. You will be creating an environment of truth. Isn’t that refreshing?

 

5. You’ll be a BOSS ASS BITCH

Bosses, don’t need things sugar coated. Bosses don’t have time for that.They need to get feed back to make major improvements in there life. Are you tired of crying over dumb shit? Don’t you want to genuinely be less phased by opinions?  Learn from criticism  and you will obtain thicker skin, more self respect and maturity.

Whining is for babies, not bosses.

 

Use criticism as one of your  greatest tools in the game of life. Keep in mind that change doesn’t happen overnight, so allow yourself some tears here and there. Eventually, you will be looking forward to feedback as they come. Good Luck!